Five things Friday: What I will miss from maternity leave

This is my last Friday before I head back into work so I decided to write about things I will miss about maternity leave.

To be honest, I did not really enjoy maternity leave. I thought I would, and was ready to give myself four months or even six months where I would live off the remaining three months from my savings. Instead I decided to return to work after three months of being on maternity leave. After three months, I feel I am mentally ready to step back into the grind. I think one factor is that I have on-site daycare at work making the transition from maternity leave a lot easier. First of all, I don’t have to look for childcare elsewhere and pay exorbitant fees. Not to mention, spots for daycare can be competitive. Secondly, I don’t have to compromise my schedule where I would wake up early to take Lana to my parent’s house who live 20 minutes north from me and pick her up after work. Also, to entertain another option, my husband and I do not have to move closer to my parents. Lastly, I did not have quit my job. It could have been a combination of all these things listed above and it is wild that we never had to think about any of it.

Maybe I did not enjoy maternity leave like I thought I would because of the lockdown. Everyday felt the same to me. I could not take Lana to the malls and sit in bistros to people watch with her. My restaurant hopping was more like Postmates orders coming to my door — and I got tired of it fast. I spent my days reading, showed her high contrast images, made toys, taught her how to use said toys, conducted sensory activities, sang, taught her how to sit and stand, tummy time, played music, etc. I felt I could have done more for Lana (and my dogs) by taking her out more if I could. I even fantasized about traveling somewhere during maternity leave if I could. Many of my friends were talking me into staying on leave for as long as I can. As much as I enjoy watching Lana grow, I want to move on.

Don’t get me wrong. I strongly believe in paid maternity leave and in taking all the time needed to bond with your baby. I felt I took all the time needed to bond with her and I am ready to return to the real world. It is criminal that here in the United States paid parental leave is not a guarantee. What is even more criminal and disorienting is how each state and each employer does it differently.

Anyways, I am done ranting. Here are the five things I will miss about maternity leave:

1. Walking my dogs (and of course Lana) everyday. I am not sure I could continue to walk with my kids everyday. It is usually a walk around the neighborhood — I can make them shorter where I walk about 20 minutes a day instead of an hour each day. Or maybe I can stick with weekends and holidays or maybe make every other day.
2. Afternoon naps. I am not a daily napper. If I nap, it is no more than 20 minutes. I am sure I will miss afternoon naps when I return to work. I can’t really nap during my lunch break since I asked my supervisor for more breaks through the day — but it was at the cost of having a shorter lunch. I went from having a one-hour lunch break to a half-hour lunch break. But this time I have two 15-minute breaks that will allow me to visit Lana at daycare more instead of just lunch hour. No napping for me until the weekends.
3. Making meals that take a lot of time during a weekday. I enjoyed experimenting with recipes everyday because I can. Usually this hobby is saved on some weekends if we are not going out of town.
4. Going to my neighborhood library. The libraries are closed, but they have library-to-go service where you reserve a book and you go to pick up your book. The thing is this service is only open from Monday to Friday 10 AM-4 PM. I enjoyed my walks to the library to get books but now I had to sign up for another library that offers library-to-go service on Saturdays. This new library is not walking distance and is a fifteen minute drive from my house. I do want to continue the experience of reading to Lana.
5. Milestones. I spend my days observing what new skill she picked up, what new object she engaged in, what new sound she made, etc. I’ll miss observing those simple things. Well…I hope the daycare staff can call me if she is starting to crawl, walk, or use the toilet. All I have to do is walk upstairs.