Coffee and chocolate hazelnut babka Barclays Northridge

How are you dealing with this heatwave?

The past weekend we spent Labor Day weekend in San Diego. Believe it or not, the weather in San Diego was much hotter and more uncomfortable than the Los Angeles heat. Due to the high humidity in San Diego, it did not matter what time we left the house — it could be 6 am or 8 pm — it was still hot. In LA as long as the sun wasn’t high… the weather was more bearable. That is why I enjoy my 6 am walks with my dogs and my 9pm pre-bedtime ritual of sitting in the backyard reading a book.

On the way home from San Diego, we stopped by Temecula to meet up with one our friends. They bought a house out there in one of those new development areas so there are not a lot of mature tree. In fact, it was 116 degree. I think I may have burned myself.

The first thing I did when I came home from San Diego was checking on my trees. I have two that are growing in the front yard and a few mature trees in my backyard. When I drive to work, I pass by some homes with lots of trees and shrubs it’s like they created their own climate. Every time I pass the houses, I tell myself that’s what I am trying to do: have enough trees to keep our house cool. But of course that will be a while. In the meantime, our projects to help cool our house are to place film on our east-facing windows and install a whole-house fan.

This weekend has been very tiring. Yesterday I was with my husband volunteering with the local high school robotics team. We were in Orange County for an event from 9AM to 8PM (not including the drive to and from the event). I can see they needed help. I can’t imagine that the only adult support would have been my husband and the teacher handling 25 students and the robots and the other supplies. The funny thing is we are not the parents of any of the students there. My husband just enjoys teaching robotics that’s why he volunteers and they needed another adult for support so I was recruited for help. Dear parents, please be more involved with your kid’s activities.

In the last Coffee Share, I was working on my 35 lessons in honor of my 35th birthday. Here’s what I have so far:

8. It’s okay to only care enough. I hope one day I outgrow it, but the cynic in me says I should only provide half the glass not exhaust myself to the very last drop. For many years my hubris (plus my husband’s) is that we care too much about everyone in our lives. But lately I find myself willing to care less and give less. My dad told me this many years ago when I was starting college and one of the things I was looking forward to was volunteering. He commended me on my aspirations, but he also told me that I should take care of myself before I can take care of others. The older I get and the more I have on my plate, his advice has never rung more true. My husband is willing to give and give until he runs on fumes. Lately, I had to tell him to put on the brakes and just reflect on how much he should really be giving. For example, last month when my husband was in training and on the last day he bought all the food for a BBQ for his army mates to celebrate the occasion. He was hoping they would help pitch in their share but unfortunately, they did not which disappointed him. I would say the care-enough alternative is if he bought lunch from the McDonald’s Dollar Menu.

9. Start living on a budget young. I think that is self-explanatory and it has benefitted me as I get older. Even if my wage has grown from my first job out of college, I still behave as though I have my first job wage. My monthly grocery budget only increased when my husband started living with me 10 years ago, but it hasn’t been upgraded since then. Some people may find it quirky and if you live with us, they may find it frustrating (i.e. why do we not have a bigger fridge, why is there no TV in my room, etc.)

10. Keeping up with the Joneses sucks. You’ll learn quickly that in reality, the Joneses are bad with saving money and they have a lot of debt behind the abundant facade. I have enough good money gossip to share on my blog one day to entertain you.

11. Check my pantry and fridge first and try to plan out as many meals as I can with whatever I have. So why have a bigger fridge? It’s just more food that will go to waste! Also when I go through whatever is left in my fridge, a lot of the time I come up with something good and I always ask myself, “why did I not make this sooner?”

12. I can’t believe it’s 2022 and there are still trolls against feminism. For many years I’ve made more money than my husband. The obvious factors that attributed to this were that I had a degree and my job titles were higher than his. My husband was very aware of that and that motivated him to go back to school. He earned his Bachelor’s Degree at 29 years old and five years afterward, he makes more money than me. A lot of people didn’t see that or understood the economics of investing into a college degree or the value of work experience and having a professional network. It’s just easier to tell my then-boyfriend (now husband) that he’s emasculated because his then-girlfriend (no wife) is the breadwinner.

13. Floss every day. Up until I was 27 years old I did not care too much for my teeth until one day I went to the dentist to find out I needed a root canal. I am happy to say that I only had one root canal.

14. Pay off your credit card immediately. Sometimes when I dine out and charge it on my card, I run to the restaurant bathroom afterward to pay it off.

15. I’m glad I don’t live in a montrously large house. I dont care what people say, but I am happy to not live in a house larger than I can handle. A bigger house means more cleaning and care for me.

Tags: Weekend Coffee Share

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6 thoughts on “How are you dealing with this heatwave?”

  1. Hi Julie,
    We could write books about your lessons above, but I wanted to shout ‘AMEM’ to your first one – caring just enough.
    We too are the type of people who easily get over-engaged with others only to be disappointed somehow when the gratitude or reciprocation falls shorter than our expectations. Then life tends to force a correction on you.
    Early in our marriage, we welcomed a young man from our church who needed a place to stay into our home. His response was to steal things from us that we only discovered after he left. It crushed something in us that has never healed but has acted as a control on how we help others even now – over 40 years later.
    Moderation way back then would have saved us and others from the emotional scars we allowed into our home way back then.
    Great stuff from you today.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aww I’m really sorry to hear that Gary. I just hope the tenant did not steal anything valuable — but really, regardless of the value it’s not cool that your stuff was stolen. I struggled writing this lesson because I did not want to conclude that I don’t care about helping people but I felt it was important to share how much I hated having the shorter end of the stick.


  2. All your lessons are good ones! I can’t imagine 116 degree heat; we just got home from Florida/Disney last month and I realized that I really was not meant to live with heat. I complain about the cold here in New England during the winter but I am loving our current temps in the 60’s and mid to low 70’s!

    Liked by 1 person

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