You’re doing it all wrong: Year two

The last time I wrote a post reflecting on motherhood it was a year ago around her birthday. I am just as cynical as last year and that is okay. I think it’s a good time to reflect on how I’ve been doing. I think we get so caught up with how the kids are doing, but nobody seems to check up on how mom is doing. How have I been dealing with motherhood after two years? Well…I learned…

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The Final eight lessons

Again, another late entry! So I am happy to report that we finished building our shade structure in the patio! It came out so nice! I like how we finished it just in time for another heatwave. Side from it not being so hot on the deck, the shade structure has helped with bringing in less sun inside so it’s less hot there too.

As September is about to end, here are my final eight lessons. I can’t believe we made to 35 lessons for my 35th year. It’s been good to reflect on what I’ve learned and where I grew and where I hope to grow out of.

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My idea of an easy weekend is…

We thought this weekend it was best to stay in town and take it easy by finally starting our pergola project. We’ve had the supplies in our garage — we just haven’t gotten around to building it because it been too hot to work outside…maybe if we did work on our project in the summer, we would have waited until the sun went down to do the work.

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Here’s to a Jubilant June!

Happy Weekend Coffee Share! I wanted to share with you a nice bouquet I got from a now-former volunteer from my last job. She’s a soon-to-be graduate at the university I now work at. It was such a nice welcome present and a Mother’s Day gift too. I’ve known this volunteer since she was a freshman and as of last week, she ended her volunteering there and is planning her post-university plans. The years flew by fast.

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A Field of butterflies and tulips (PPAC #32)

I enjoy passing back this mural at work. Something about it makes me smile — maybe it’s the bright red tulips. Also, the children are away from screens (assuming they have smartphones and TVs) and are instead interacting with the world around them. It’s strangely refreshing.

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The Four day New Year’s weekend

Happy Weekend Coffee Share and Happy New Year! It’s been an eventful three weeks: I was sick throughout Christmas weekend (tested negative for COVID), my husband was sick as well (tested negative for COVID), BIL #2 was sick through Christmas to after New Year’s (he had COVID), and two of my coworkers had COVID and were out for 10 days. We were so so so short-staffed at my office over the last two weeks.

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(Re)Invigorate

The last Weekend Coffee Share of the year! I have to say, I’m surprised I kept up this blog the whole year. If anything, this blog has helped me process through a lot of difficult moments. In addition to Weekend Coffee Share, I participate in the Photographing Public Art Challenge, the Lens-Artists Photography Challenge, and the monthly #whatsonyourbookshelf. I created a new series on my blog such as “Eat Around the World” where I explore and play with different food themes — I always wanted to incorporate more food posts on my blog. Once in a while, I like to play armchair sociologist where I write about being Asian-American and share some of my observations. I even created a separate blog called “Lana at the Library” where we document Lana’s library haul.

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Abundance: More than just stuff

Note: Another long hard post about Asian-American identity how it has affected my life and how I’ve come to acknowledge my privilege. These are just my observations as I am not an expert on the field but rather more like a “student of life who is always willing to learn.

I’ve been meaning to write about this post for quite some time. Honestly, I don’t know where to begin. It’s ironic how I am releasing this post the day after Thanksgiving — the biggest shopping day of the year in the United States.

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Unsolicited advice: You’re doing it all wrong

This post has been sitting in my drafts for ages. As Lana approaches her first birthday, I’ll be releasing a few posts about motherhood. At first I thought to do a monthly recap, but I decided let’s wait because I have other posts too. I want to showcase my hobbies and other things on my mind. Then this post quickly grew more into this very stream-of-consciousness post with various topics around motherhood. But now after reviewing, I broke them down and made several smaller posts around motherhood. This post is more focused on receiving unsolicited advice.

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Who’s the sheeple now?

I received a notification a couple of weeks back for having this WordPress account for 12 years. I had this WordPress account when I was 21 years old. I was in my last quarter of university figuring out what was next. Side note: I’ve been blogging for far longer. I started blogging since I was 16 years old. I had a Xanga because everyone in high school had a Xanga. When I was 17, I decided to switch to Livejournal because I preferred the interface. At 16 and 17, I wrote about school projects, exams, books I read (which everyone else in my class has read), hanging out with friends, etc. I was very cautious to not slip writing about high school crushes ;-). Then from my first year of college to senior year, I had a Blogspot. I wrote about personal finance — out of all things. All of them I wrote very intermittently.

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I hate the “P” word

As promised I will write about Asian American identity and the ways it has affected my life and how I’ve come to acknowledge my privilege.

The “P” word I am referring to is “privilege.” It started as this incredibly long post, but I decided to cut this up. I wanted to posit the question, what should one do when they’re told to “check their privilege?”

I have noticed throughout my 20s and 30s, I’ve been told to “check my privilege.” This feedback has been more frequent the older I got, even over the more “simple” things like me being comically frugal is considered a privilege. When people tell me to “check at my privilege,” I’m not quite sure what to do other than say “okay” and shrug it off. Should I also give you money and my degrees? Should I feel awful about myself every time I go into my office job that pays the bills? Should I feel bad about making healthier lifestyle choices (i.e. exercising, eating fruits and veggies, etc) because it’s an “expensive lifestyle?”

I am very well aware of my privilege and I want to use it to make the world a better place. I work in a large public hospital where we provide healthcare whether or not these patients carry insurance. We are also a hub where we do a bi-monthly food pantry feeding patients and community members experiencing food insecurity. At my work, I use it as an opportunity to teach aspiring healthcare workers the importance of patient advocacy. Care does not only happen within the four walls of a clinic, they should care about what happens to them outside too. Do these patients have access to hygiene products, affordable housing, healthy food, etc.?

I left my last job because I did not feel we did enough for the older adults living in affordable housing. We did a lot more for the older adults living in market rate housing and I found it incredibly frustrating because it conflicted with the organization’s mission.

Telling me to “check my privilege” is hardly, if at all, an action. I never understood it. Are they coming from a place where they want help or are they just being mean-spirited?

Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! Merry Everything!

“Kindness is like snow. It beautifies everything it covers.”

Kahlil Gibran

Six years ago we went to Lake Tahoe for Christmas. It was our mini-moon. At that time we just got married two months before and we decided to put our honeymoon in Italy on a hold for a little bit…but we still wanted to go somewhere. My husband’s job had a company holiday shutdown that week so we wanted to go somewhere we could spend a couple of days and it was enough. Side note: we eventually went to Italy a year after our wedding.

This year’s holiday season has been interesting. I wonder how things are going at my work at the hospital and how it will be like when I return in a couple of weeks. In reading the headlines over the last several days (weeks in some places), medical centers across the country are overwhelmed with the number of COVID cases. At my hospital we take in patients from places outside of my county supporting the smaller hospitals who do not have enough resources. Now we do not have any ICU beds available. In the early months of COVID, we had staff members who were not comfortable coming home to their families in fears they would get them sick. Now we are at month nine of this pandemic. To those who break from the mask wearing rules and the social distancing, how selfish do you have to be to not let people come home to their families all because you wanted to go to a party?

When I was working, we received an abundance of meal donations and care packages from the community for several weeks. To me it felt like a very long Christmas with every delivery received. It lifts my spirits knowing there was kindness out there; it was knowing that healthcare workers are appreciated because in the last few years, there have been many people diminishing and questioning science and health. I have no problem with people asking questions, but now there are wild conspiracy theories and false information that is spreading like wildfire. They ardently believe what they see and it is to the point they get aggressive. There were times I had to downplay my occupation as a healthcare worker because I did not want to deal with…how should I kindly put it…”crazy talk.” But I now proudly wear that badge because I can’t handle stupid anymore.

That is my rant. Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and Merry Everything!